Thursday, November 24, 2005

 

My theory on Howard Dean's insanity

One night when Howard Dean, the governor of Vermont at that time, was walking in a local cemetery he thought he heard a voice, “ Yo, wanna be cool? ”. Howard turns around and yells “ Who was that? ”, but no one was there. “ I must be hearing things ” thought Howard as he tries to find the exit out of the cemetery. But then a voice returns and said “ Wanna be cool or not ? ”, soon Howard yells “ Okay, who the fuck are you? ”.
Then suddenly James Dean’s ghost appears, “ Remember me? ” he said, “ I’m one of the best actors ever! ”. Soon Howard started to quiver and said “ But it can’t be, you’re….dead….in….car….crash ” , “ Dead as I may be ” James replied, “ But it doesn’t mean I would leave and let the world get taken over by nerds. ” “ Nerds?! ” yelled Howard, “ Uncool people ” replies James, “ Didn’t Fonzie use that term on ‘ Happy Days ’ ? ” asked Howard, “ Henry Winkler ( the dude who played Fonzie on Happy Days ) was my student ” replied James. “ Why do you want me to become cool? ” asked Howard, “ So that you can have a chance against Bush on Election Day ” James replies, “ Cool! ” yelled Howard, “ So what should I do to become cool? ” he continues, “ Here’s what you need to do “ answered James as they began to discuss on what to do to be cool.
Next morning, Howard Dean announces in front of thousands of people that he is going to jump three sharks without water-skis ( just so he can best a similar stunt performed by The Fonz himself ). “ I can do it ” Howard said to himself, “ I just got to try ”, as he puts on his water goggles, wet suit, and a life jacket but forgets about the helmet. As the boat engine starts, Howard raises his hand and yells “ YEARRRG! ” as the people began to cheer. As he took off from the dock, he sailed majestically over the pool of sharks, screaming “ YEARRRG! ” until he crashes head first into a boat rental house and was rushed to a local hospital.
Few weeks later, he wakes up from a coma. The doctor said that because the damage on his brain is very severe, he may never regain his sanity again. Because of this, several years later on the Iowa caucuses, he made a bizarre speech which ended with his psychotic scream, “ YEARRRG! ” which most likely resulted in his downfall during the Democratic Primary, as he was never the same again. As for the ghost of the great James Dean? Well, they say he is enjoying a good laugh with the ghosts of Billy Martin, Arthur Miller, Pablo Picasso, and some dude.

Comments:
Merry Fucking Christmas to you too, darling LOL
 
Thanks. LOL
 
Do you only get comments from the same people? I went to their sites and you comment on theirs - is this some webring of self starting bloggers pretending to have a fan club or actually someone who cares what they have to say. Keep plugging away and perhaps someone other than yourselves and me who detests your sarcastic form of humor (which we all know is the lowest form of wit) will notice you all - but don't hold your breath. No on second thought...hold your breath. Do the world a favor.
 
Dude, how would I have so much time in my hands to do so? No screen name as well.
 
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